I'm not going to lie, a year snuck up on me...and yet it didn't. I knew that it would be easier to deal with day to day, but as a whole it still stings.
I never thought I would be sitting here writing this down. A year ago if you asked me where I'd be I would have told you I knew for sure that I'd have a sweet baby in my arms, or at least growing in my belly. I never thought I'd be sitting here on medications STILL trying to get pregnant. But of course you never think it's going to be you.
1 in 8. Did you know that's how many couples struggle with infertility? That came as a surprise to me. Chris and I have a tight knit group of friends. There's about 6 or 7 couples we hang out with on a regular basis. That means the odds were that at least 1 out of us 8 couples were going to be a statistic. Now I'm not speaking for those other couples because I don't know what they went through to bring their little ones here, but I never thought in a million years we would be that couple.
I never thought we would struggle this much. Life is hard. Everybody has trials, I'm not saying mine are harder than yours. But dang. 2 years later and I'm sitting in my quiet home, no messes to clean, no baby to snuggle. Realatively speaking 2 years is a short amount of time. But that's two years of baby annoucements, blessings, baby showers, and two years of struggling. It's such a weird thing. It gets easier to accept, but it's not easier to deal with. It still hurts every single day, but it doesn't consume all your thoughts all day every day. That probably doesn't even make sense unless you've been there.
I know a lot of couples struggling with this. My heart literally breaks and hurts for them. A lot of the time I feel selfish for my feelings because I'm like wait-- so and so has been waiting 4, 5, heck even 8 years for this and I've been waiting 2... big deal. That's the thing is my pain isn't any less than theirs, sure it's different but I still have the right. It's an awkward thing to talk about, but I always try to ask my friends how they're doing and things are progressing because even though it's a sensitive and private subject it really does make you feel so much better to know somebody is thinking about you.
This post is all over the place. That's pretty much where my thoughts are. I can't seem to keep them organized. That's like a day in the life of me. I encourage you to reach out to a friend of yours you know is struggling with this and say, "hey I know this sucks, but I'm here for you.. let's eat an entire tub of ice cream and watch chick flicks for a night." Because as cliche as it sounds, that's probably what she wants to do.
"People don't always need advice. Sometimes all they need is a hand to hold, an ear to listen, and a heart to understand them."
I know a lot of couples struggling with this. My heart literally breaks and hurts for them. A lot of the time I feel selfish for my feelings because I'm like wait-- so and so has been waiting 4, 5, heck even 8 years for this and I've been waiting 2... big deal. That's the thing is my pain isn't any less than theirs, sure it's different but I still have the right. It's an awkward thing to talk about, but I always try to ask my friends how they're doing and things are progressing because even though it's a sensitive and private subject it really does make you feel so much better to know somebody is thinking about you.
This post is all over the place. That's pretty much where my thoughts are. I can't seem to keep them organized. That's like a day in the life of me. I encourage you to reach out to a friend of yours you know is struggling with this and say, "hey I know this sucks, but I'm here for you.. let's eat an entire tub of ice cream and watch chick flicks for a night." Because as cliche as it sounds, that's probably what she wants to do.
"People don't always need advice. Sometimes all they need is a hand to hold, an ear to listen, and a heart to understand them."
